Reflection & Exercises

Exercise 1 — The Responsibility Declarations (5 Minutes)

Reclaim your power by reclaiming responsibility. Read these out loud.

1. "I am 100% responsible for my emotional state today."
2. "I am 100% responsible for filling my calendar."
3. "I am 100% responsible for how I treat my body."
4. "No one is coming to save me. I am my own savior."

Exercise 2 — The "Yes" List (10 Minutes)

Write down 5 things you would typically say "No" to, that you commit to saying "Yes" to this month.

1. (e.g., Going to a movie alone.)
2. (e.g., Joining that run club.)

3. ---

4. ---

5. ---

Rule: If the opportunity arises, you must say Yes.

Exercise 3 — The "Design Your Day" (10 Minutes)

Stop drifting. Design a "Perfect Single Day."

• 08:00 AM: _________________________________________________
• 10:00 AM: _________________________________________________
• 01:00 PM: _________________________________________________
• 06:00 PM: _________________________________________________
• 09:00 PM: _________________________________________________

Challenge: Execute this day next Saturday.

Exercise 4 — The Identity Update (15 Minutes)

You are running "Identity 1.0" (Partner). You need to install "Identity 2.0" (Individual).

Complete these sentences:

• "I am the kind of person who..." (e.g., reads everyday).
• "I am the kind of person who..." (e.g., lifts heavy weights).
• "I am the kind of person who..." (e.g., hosts dinner parties).

Pick traits that have nothing to do with being in a relationship.

Exercise 5 — The Anti-Drift Alarm

Set an alarm on your phone for 7 PM every Friday. Label: "Don't Drift. Make a Plan." When it goes off, text a friend or book a ticket. Do not enter the weekend without a plan.

Exercise 6 — The 7‑Day Momentum Chain

Create a chain of seven small actions (walk, call, meal, chore, workout, learning, social). Break the chain only if necessary.

Exercise 7 — The “One Hour Builder”

Set a timer for one hour. Build something: a meal, a budget, a plan, a workout. One hour is enough to create momentum.

: Research TODO: Add citations on behavioral activation and goal setting after loss.

Clinical & Research Foundations

This chapter integrates findings from peer-reviewed psychiatry, psychology, and relationship science, including attachment theory, trauma research, sexual health medicine, and evidence-based couples therapy.