TruAlign

Exercises

Chapter 3: The Story Your Mind Keeps Replaying

Reflection & Exercises

Exercise 1 — Name the story (2 minutes)

When you notice yourself replaying, pause and name the story:

  1. What story am I replaying? (e.g., "What I did wrong," "What they did wrong," "What could have been different")
  2. What theme does it have? (e.g., blame, regret, "what if")
  3. How long have I been replaying this? (e.g., days, weeks, months)
  4. Have I gotten new insight? (If no, it's rumination, not reflection)

Naming the story helps you see it clearly and recognize when you're stuck in a loop.

Simple rule: If you've been thinking about it for weeks without new insight, it's rumination. Time to interrupt it.

Exercise 2 — The 10-minute rumination window (5 minutes)

Instead of ruminating all day, give yourself a specific time to think about it:

  1. Set a timer for 10 minutes—This is your rumination window
  2. Think about it fully—Replay the story, feel the feelings, go through it all
  3. When the timer goes off, stop—No matter where you are in the story, stop
  4. Do something different—Change your environment, move your body, engage with something else

The 10-minute window gives you space to think about it without letting it consume your whole day. Over time, you may find you need less time, or that the thoughts lose their charge.

Exercise 3 — Write it down, then set it aside

When you notice yourself replaying, write everything down:

  1. Write the whole story—Everything you're thinking, feeling, replaying
  2. Don't edit or filter—Just get it all out
  3. When you're done, set it aside—Close the notebook, put it away
  4. Don't reread it immediately—Give it time before you look at it again

Writing it down gets the thoughts out of your head and onto paper, which can help break the loop. Setting it aside creates space between you and the story.

Exercise 4 — Interrupt the pattern (10 minutes)

When you notice yourself replaying, immediately interrupt the pattern:

  • Change your environment—Go to a different room, go outside, change locations
  • Move your body—Walk, stretch, exercise, dance
  • Do something different—Engage with a different activity, call a friend, read something
  • Practice grounding—5-4-3-2-1 method, breathing, or cold water
  • Connect with someone—Talk to a friend, therapist, or support person

The goal isn't to stop thinking about it—it's to interrupt the automatic replay so you can choose how to engage with it.

Exercise 5 — Create a new story

Instead of replaying the old story, create a new one:

  1. Write the old story—What you've been replaying
  2. Write what you've learned—What insights have you gained? What patterns do you see?
  3. Write how you're growing—What are you learning about yourself? How are you changing?
  4. Write the new story—A story about growth, learning, and moving forward

The new story doesn't erase the old one—it adds to it. You're not denying what happened; you're creating meaning from it that helps you move forward.

Optional: communication boundary scripts

If you find yourself wanting to reach out to replay the story with them, have these scripts ready:

  • "I'm working through some things on my own right now. I'll reach out when I'm in a better place."
  • "I appreciate you, but I need space to process. I'll let you know when I'm ready to talk."
  • "I'm not in a place to have this conversation right now. Can we talk later?"

Practice saying these out loud. Have them saved in your phone. Use them even when it's hard. Boundaries aren't punishment—they're protection for your processing.

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