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How to Use the Relationship Pulse

The Relationship Pulse

How (and When) to Use It

The Relationship Pulse is not meant to be used constantly.

It's not a tracker for anxiety.
It's not a score you chase.
And it's not something you check every time emotions spike.

It's a periodic check-in, designed to bring clarity at moments when perspective is most likely to be distorted.


When the Pulse Is Useful

Use the Pulse when you're at a decision point, not an emotional peak.

Good times to use it:

  • After a breakup, once the initial shock has settled
  • When you're considering reaching out or re-engaging
  • When a relationship feels "mostly good" but something feels off
  • When patterns you recognize from the past start to reappear
  • Before making a commitment that would raise the stakes
  • When deciding whether growth is happening — or just hoped for

The Pulse is designed to slow things down and surface patterns that are hard to see from inside the experience.


When Not to Use the Pulse

Don't use it:

  • Multiple times a week
  • During acute emotional distress
  • As a way to reassure yourself
  • To confirm what you already want to do
  • As a substitute for difficult conversations or personal work

If you find yourself wanting to retake it repeatedly, that's usually a signal to pause — not to gather more information.

Clarity doesn't come from repetition.
It comes from integration.


Recommended Cadence

Plus users (one-time clarity):

  • Take the Pulse once per major decision point
  • Revisit insights over time instead of retaking immediately

Pro users (active growth phases):

  • Once every 4–6 weeks
  • Use comparisons to observe direction, not perfection

Lifetime users:

  • Return whenever a relationship enters a new phase
  • Early dating
  • Escalating commitment
  • Prolonged conflict
  • Major transitions

The goal is not to eliminate emotion — it's to understand how emotion is shaping your choices.


What the Pulse Is Designed to Do

The Pulse does not tell you what to do.

It helps you see:

  • where emotional safety is eroding or strengthening
  • whether change is structural or performative
  • if hope is grounded or compensatory
  • whether growth is actually happening

It gives you signal — not answers.

Because answers given too early often keep people stuck longer.


A Final Note on Use

If you're calm, stable, and not desperate — and the Pulse still helps you see more clearly — then it's doing exactly what it was built to do.

This isn't a crisis tool.
It's a relationship literacy tool.

Use it to understand.
Use it to choose.
Use it to avoid repeating what no longer serves you.