TruAlign

TruAlign Ministry Flow (Stage Guide)

Stage 0 - Entry Point

Why are they here? Choose the closest fit (no perfection required):

  • Premarital / Dating
  • Marriage under strain
  • Reconciliation attempt
  • Separation / Divorce / Post-Divorce
  • Individual integrity rebuilding

-> Action: Begin with TruAlign Orientation + Integrity Baseline

Stage 1 - Safety & Stability Check (Gate)

Before anything else, ask:

  • Active abuse or coercion?
  • Addiction not yet addressed?
  • Self-harm ideation?
  • Acute mental health crisis?

If YES to any:

  • -> Pause TruAlign
  • -> Refer out immediately
  • -> Pastoral support only, no tools

If NO:

  • -> Proceed to Timeline Assessment

Stage 2 - Timeline Divergence (Critical Insight)

Partners often move on different clocks. TruAlign supports parallel clarity, not forced alignment.

Identify each person’s current state (privately).

Common male-pattern presentations (not universal):

  • Delayed insight
  • Avoidance under shame
  • “I need more time”
  • Cognitive framing before emotional access

Common female-pattern presentations (not universal):

  • Emotional exhaustion
  • Safety and trust erosion
  • “I’ve already tried”
  • Earlier clarity, later grief

Key rule:

  • No one is “ahead” or “behind.”
  • They are on different tracks.

Stage 3 - Select the TruAlign Focus

A. Low Clarity / High Avoidance

Signals:

  • Silence
  • Minimization
  • Confusion
  • “I don’t know what I feel”

Focus module:

  • Integrity & Truth Surfacing
  • Values alignment
  • Avoidance detection
  • Honest self-inventory

Pastoral posture:

  • Patience, non-pressure

B. High Emotion / Low Safety

Signals:

  • Anger
  • Grief
  • Fear
  • Emotional flooding

Focus module:

  • Dignity & Boundaries
  • Emotional safety
  • Autonomy
  • Non-coercion

Pastoral posture:

  • Containment, reassurance

C. Asymmetric Readiness

Signals:

  • One partner wants repair
  • The other wants clarity or distance

Focus module:

  • Discernment (Parallel Paths)
  • Individual truth
  • No forced reconciliation
  • Respect divergent outcomes

Pastoral posture:

  • Neutrality, fairness

D. Attempted Repair

Signals:

  • Accountability emerging
  • Willingness to change
  • Openness to feedback

Focus module:

  • Repair Readiness
  • Ownership
  • Pattern recognition
  • Sustained honesty

Pastoral posture:

  • Guarded hope, realism

E. Closure / Post-Divorce

Signals:

  • Relationship ending or ended
  • Identity rebuilding
  • Meaning-making

Focus module:

  • Integrity After Loss
  • Self-truth
  • Values rebuilding
  • Future alignment

Pastoral posture:

  • Dignity, non-judgment

Stage 4 - What Pastors & Groups Never Do

Never:

  • Interpret TruAlign results
  • Compare partners
  • Push timelines
  • Pressure reconciliation
  • Report progress to leadership

Always:

  • Offer presence
  • Normalize different paths
  • Refer appropriately
  • Protect dignity